This Talent Is Wasted On Me

Yeah, I said it. I have a talent that most people see as a blessing, and as I sit here wondering why I was chosen to have it, I feel like I have some how wasted a G-d given gift.

For those of you who don’t know (and most of you probably don’t), I can sing. I’m not just talking about a Christina Aguilera cover type singing, but classically/operatically trained singing. I can belt it out y’all.  As a matter of fact, my voice is the only thing I am 100% confident in. You can say I’m the worst person that has ever lived, and I may believe you…but nobody can tell me that I’m not at least a little talented in the vocal department.

Anyway, now that I’m done tooting my own horn, let’s get to the point…

I went for a walk with my mom the other night and she said “I miss your voice. Unfortunately (because I never do it), it’s one of the things that makes me genuinely happy.”

Her words hit me. I miss my voice too. It takes power to sing the way I am trained to, and sometimes…okay…all the time, I miss it. The feeling after every performance, even if just for myself, makes me feel unstoppable.

I’m not training, I refuse to be a secular artist, my voice is useless in my place of worship, theater wasn’t working out for me, and singing in my garage to keep me from going mad is no longer a real option in this Dallas heat… there is nothing… I feel like a waste of talent. My voice, it’s power, the rush that comes with knowing I am capable of such a thing… It’s a huge waste, and sometimes I resent it.

I resent the fact that I have a talent some people would kill for. I resent that I have a talent that is purposeless. I resent being saddled with the burden of finding a purpose for a talent I didn’t ask for, that continues to haunt me with it’s uselessness.

I haven’t trained my voice since I was 15, and some days I feel like I might wake up and realize it’s no longer there. I have no reason to use my voice, and yet I’m terrified of losing it.

I know I sound like an ungrateful cry-baby…and you’re probably right, but sometimes I wish I knew life before feeling this tremendous pressure to find a purpose for a talent that seems like both a blessing and a curse. People are always telling me not to waste my talent, and sometimes, I just wish I knew what they meant.

Is my voice a waste? Everything is meant to happen for a reason, but in this case I’m left wondering if my voice isn’t categorized under “everything.”

What do you think? Can you sympathize with this in any aspect of your life? Am I the biggest cry-baby in the world?  Let me know! I would really love some insight, and maybe even some words of encouragement.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life xx

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8 thoughts on “This Talent Is Wasted On Me

  1. Do you sing in the shower? Do you sing along in the car? Do you ever use that gorgeous classically trained voice to Belt out lyrics that just randomly fit the moment? If you do any of those things, your talent is not wasted. Waste means trash, garbage, refuse… This is not the case. Recognizing that you have an amazing talent but making a choice to follow a path that is best for you just means you have a good head on your shoulders. Being your whole self, Lucy the world traveler, the girl with a beautiful smile & heart, the girl who can sing like nobody’s business, the girl who is always just a little overdressed, the girl with BIG DREAMS. Singing, though an amazing talent, is one small part of the amazing human you are. Congratulations for not allowing yourself to be put in a box. And hey, who says you can’t give your mom a personal show 😉

    • Jennifer, you are the reason I blog. You are also the reason I am not afraid to be honest and vulnerable! This is just the kind of encouragement I needed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my sob feast, and respond with such kind words. I’m sure my mom would also like to thank you for that little suggestion, lol! Thanks again!
      Much love,
      Lucy xx

  2. Hey, I don’t see why you can’t bless us at shule every once in a while with classy opera! I mean maybe for special music time or do a song for a Bris or Bar/ Bat Mitzvah ceremony. I’d really enjoy it and in my life I don’t have great opportunities to hear and experience that type of awesome talent! It’s not wasted or pointless! It’s the fancy China in the dishware of life!

  3. I too struggled with what I thought was a wasted gift. I’ve been blessed with an above average level of athleticism. I can say that last years performance, and the performance I’ve had just recently are proof I still am. B”H! I am confident I could have made force recon, or MARSOC when I was in the Marine Corps, or any other special operations force(SOF). Had I chosen the soccer route instead of the military, I’m confident I could be playing professionally, here in the US or in Europe, today. How it came to be that I didn’t do either of those, which I did have desires for both of them, is irrelevant. I’ve been in low places about it in the past. I feared the day I would lose it. I would ask myself, why did G-d bless me in such a way, and yet I’m not able to use it to it’s full potential. Of course that thinking doesn’t do me any good, and I realized that one day. I decided I would just be grateful for it. I would use it for whatever purpose, big or small, to help others. And I recently decided to start training as if I was going to use it for something like professional sports, or SOF, though I have no intention to, so if G-d calls on me to use it, I’ll be ready. And if I never use it for anything more than what I already use it for. Than B”H! I’m fine with that.

    Focus on what you can use it for. Bring a smile to your mothers face. Take the suggestions of Mazel and Jennifer. Make a concious decision to be grateful for it, regardless of frequency of use. G-d could have a very specfic plan for your talent that will completely satisfy you. And hey, Dallas will cool down eventually….

    • Thanks for sharing your own experience. It is encouraging to know that I am not the only one that feels the way I do. I will definitely follow your example by keeping my voice well trained and prepared just in case opportunity shows itself! Thanks again for this comment, I needed it xx

  4. My precious Lucy, your God Given talent is never a waste. I refuse to believe that it is.
    I have heard you sing since you were a little girl.
    I believe God has given you this talent with a purpose. Sometimes we need to seek that purpose with God. I know that I know God will reveal his purpose in due season. I too like Betty miss your voice, you are a strong young lady and God chose you for such a time as this. Don’t lay the dream down to sleep, catch the momentum seize it run with it. Lay it at His feet, as the women with the Alabaster Box. Sing Him a new song (write). Give Him the best you have within you. I will live to see that come to pass. I bless you from the top of your head to the soul of your feet. I decree & declare your victory in this season in your life. Love you much âĪ

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