Real Love and Roller-Coasters

When you first begin to fall for someone, you fall in love with the way they make you feel. Does conversation with them stimulate you? Do they make you laugh? Do you feel an attraction to them? If the answer is yes, they make you feel pretty awesome, and so you begin to fall in love. This is all a pretty selfish, but necessary process. You spend months (maybe longer) trying figure out how this person makes you feel and whether or not they are worth your time. This stage is wonderful and if it’s going well, it offers a roller-coaster like high. The problem with wonderful roller-coasters is that they don’t last long, and there are plenty of other roller-coasters out there…aka, there is no longevity and that rush is easily replaced.

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The good news is, if you truly begin to love someone, there comes a time when you’ve decided they are the one that makes you happy, and something magical happens…you fall in love with making them happy. Your questions of “how do they make me feel?” turn into “how do I make them feel?” You find that even when you think you’re being concerned for yourself, some way or another, it’s actually about the other’s feelings; this shift into pure, selfless love is life changing. When another person’s wellbeing becomes your happiness, you learn the definition of love and everything beautiful (and heartbreaking) in this world.

All of that to say; I think him and I both went through the first stage very intensely. We fell in love with our conversations, our laughter, our chemistry, and our potential…what a beautiful rollercoaster that was. Keyword; was.

I moved into stage two. His happiness became my biggest priority. Even when I thought of myself, it was usually in regard to him. If I felt unhappy with him, I wondered what he was feeling, and how I could help him get over it so that we could happily carry on. I always wanted what was best for him…

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But I messed up. I fell so in love with his happiness, it took me a year to realize that he had gotten off the rollercoaster and moved on. He got off the ride, and I progressed into stage two.

This all came to me as I realized what it was that kept me from slipping into an “I miss him” moment yesterday. Whenever I feel that sadness, I stop myself and ask… “Was that real love? Was what we had special? Was it irreplaceable? Was that memory anything he’s not experiencing with her right now?” For some reason, that morbid set of questions puts everything into perspective very quickly; because the answer to all of them is, no. I was not his first love, I was his first roller-coaster.

So when he said things like “I don’t compare her to you” or “Her and I’s relationship isn’t better or worse, just different,” he wasn’t being hurtful, he was being honest. A roller-coaster is a roller-coaster, the twist and turns really don’t matter. At the end of the day, as long as that rollercoaster makes you feel good, you don’t sit there and compare it to the last one.

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It’s not until you fall in love with a person’s happiness that they become irreplaceable or unforgettable. It’s not until you fall in love with a person’s soul that they become worth taking through life, even when the ride stops for a moment. It’s not until you fall truly and madly in love with someone, flaws and all, that you sit and wait for the roller-coaster to start again.

So whenever sadness creeps in, I think “What is there to miss? Every fond memory was a twist or turn, moments that didn’t really matter. I’ll remember them for what they were, fun… but never love.”

My advice: Don’t give your heart to anyone unless they are willing to survive on your smile until the ride begins again.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and Beau Taplin quotes xx 

Keep This Love in a Photograph

” We keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves. Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and time’s forever frozen still. And if you hurt me, that’s okay baby, only words bleed. Inside these pages you just hold me…  ” – Photograph by Ed Sheeran 

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I can look back and question what was genuine and what was not, but in this photo, that smile… it doesn’t get more genuine than that.

It’s been bothering me how insignificant our relationship has felt, especially in feeling the good memories (because, ya know…I can’t just leave well enough alone). As I sat around the other day and went through all of my old photos, I realized how grateful I am, that despite numerous people suggesting it, I did not completely delete every photo of him or us.

Those photos are the only thing I have that remind me of that time in my life. A lot of his belongings and written professions of love have lost their value to me, as I question what was real and what it even felt like…but those photos…they don’t need to be felt or even remembered, they just offer proof that at one point, I thought he loved me, and we were happy about it. They remind me that even though I can’t feel him anymore, his embrace used to be my idea of home, and you can see that in the comfort of my body language and the genuine smile on my face.

Photos tend to freeze some of the best parts of life.  Like the last picture we took together, you can’t see the pain or the confusion that was happening in that moment, only two people that were heartbroken at the idea of letting go. You can’t see selfishness, mind games, heartache, or any of the other things that have caused me to wipe us from my emotional memory; and as I desperately try to keep that part of my life from insignificance,  it’s nice to still have our good moments frozen in time.

I can’t say that this means I look back fondly, or that I even feel anything worth mentioning again, but the version of me posing in every one of those pictures knew what it felt like to love and be loved by him. Even though I can’t feel it or even assume it was genuine, I can see it, and that’s all I need to keep from feeling oblivious to the fact that it happened.

My advice to anyone going through the same thing; Don’t do yourself the disservice of erasing a major part of your life just because it hurt in the end. You didn’t burn the photo your mom took of you face planting off your tricycle at three years old, so why would you delete every memory of your face plant of a relationship? They’re both memories, and sometimes those pictures are the only we have left.

Meant to be Life Changing

“When I was a little girl, I could feel you out there around me. Imagining who you were, what you smelled like, who your friends were. I would draw you in the sky with one finger, looking out of my window. If I looked hard enough, I could almost make out your eyes. Were you waiting for me too?

Then I found you. I found my heart. I found my truth. Love is supposed to protect, it’s supposed to be a safe place. So why am I so afraid? Afraid that my kiss wasn’t the sweetest kiss you knew? And when my eyes filled with tears, did you cry for me? Did you fight for me?

What makes you so different? Is this the real you? Love isn’t supposed to deceive. So tell me, was it worth it? Will you replace me? Or will I replace you? Or will we remain? To know love, is to know pain.” –Beyonce

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I acknowledged that I really loved him, even on a non-romantic, selfless level. I would’ve given the world to be with him, but just to see him happy would’ve been enough too. I cried when he cried, I laughed when he laughed, and no one could tell me he wasn’t the most incredible human being I had ever met. I loved him enough to never let go because he really was the boy I dreamed I’d fall in love with some day. He was my idea of perfection…

As you saw in my last post, I have completely gotten over that in such a sudden manner that it has taken me by surprise. He was my first love, how is it even possible that I can’t feel any of that “magic” anymore? I am at peace, but very confused by it. People always say that when you’re “over it” you can look back and remember things fondly, but I don’t… However, I don’t look at those memories with regret or sorrow either. I have repeated the question of “why?!” in my head about a thousand times in the last 48 hours, and this is what I’ve come up with…

When I felt the immediate relief from all things him and heartbreak, it was because I had made some pretty ground-breaking (for me) realizations about who he is on a psychological level. All of my unanswered questions about the way he thought, behaved, and how he could do what he did, began to answer themselves. Being able to make logical sense of it all really aided in the healing process.

However, it also made me ask the big questions that I can’t believe hadn’t popped into my mind before.

When was the last time he felt about me the way I felt about him?

When was the last time I remember his unconditional love? When was the last time my smile made him smile? When was the last time he made me feel secure and deeply loved? When was the last time he felt both my pain and happiness? When was the last time he thought of me as irreplaceable? Most importantly, when was the last he made me feel like he treasured me, or the love I had for him?

I felt all of those things for him a little over a month (or two) ago, but in reality…

I can’t actually remember a time when they were true for him. I remind myself that there was a lot of love there, and I’m sure he felt a fair bit of those things at some point…but I don’t remember it emotionally. I can’t remember or feel anything that was real. I cant remember the last time I looked at him and saw a guy that was truly in love with me on a pure, selfless level.

Not being able to feel a time when he loved me, I mean really loved me, (not whatever the last year and a half has been), might just be the reason I can’t muster up those warm and fuzzy, fond memories. Anything I can still empathize with was false and far from genuine love. If I can’t remember what it felt like to be loved by him, it only makes sense that I don’t ache for that time or reminisce on what it was. 

To save you the psycho babble on all of this: Don’t let your image of someone and your love for him or her keep you miserable. It doesn’t really matter who they were or what you had, if that person and their love for you either never existed or left a long time ago. You really have to pay attention to a person’s actions, not their words, and avoid letting your love for them cloud your judgement of reality.

Being madly in love with someone you are a convenience to leads nowhere good. If you feel you have become that person, it’s time to let go, and let that be a reminder to never look back. Luckily, if you’re anything like me, your biggest concern after moving on in such a manner will be; is it normal to feel so unchanged by something that was meant to be life changing?

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life… and Beyonce quotes xx

A Dodged Bullet and a Mended Heart

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Who needs makeup when your happiness is flawless?!

People say that heartbreak is one of those things that only heals over time. I took that to mean that heartache slips away slowly but surely, and I could not have been anymore wrong. I was expecting it to gradually get better and often found myself discouraged at how fresh the hurt felt a year later.

I felt so crushed at the fact that my heart hurt just as much this year as it did last year. I just couldn’t stop crying at the thought that the feeling of hurt wasn’t fading, at all. I thought that the lack of fading meant that I hadn’t even really begun to heal, and that was daunting. How could this go on for any longer?!

Anyway, long story short, I had some pretty intense revelations. Remember how I said being a hopeless romantic and a psych major was a recipe for disaster? Well, I was wrong (again). Because having psychologist for friends and a pretty good understanding of relationships on an in depth level, made me realize something…. He is not my one! He is not perfect for me! He didn’t want me! And without putting a label on him, I dodged a bullet! I dodged a massive freakin bullet, people!

And it was just like that… the butterflies I felt when his name popped up on my phone, the bittersweet feeling when looking at our pictures, the memories that taunted me…gone! All gone! The pain didn’t fade, it hurt like a mother trucker and then disappeared without any warning.

I look at the things that made me cry and try to trigger some emotion, and it’s not there! I look back at our memories and I don’t feel anything negative. I do wish I would’ve been a little smarter, but that’s about it. I am happy guys! Like, really freakin happy! 

I’m not looking to replace him, I don’t want to cry at the thought of our lasts, quite frankly, I don’t care! My feelings are so neutral. I dont love him, but I dont want to blow up his car either. I have the same emotions for him that I have for some random person on the street. We can share some light-hearted chat, I have nothing against him, I dont wish any bad upon him, but my life doesn’t consider his at all. Granted, somewhere in my distant memory, I remember he was special to me, but the point is, he’s not anymore…and I couldn’t be any happier about that. 

So maybe when they say that time heals, they mean it will hurt for an undisclosed amount of time and then just disappear all at once. One life changing realization, a bonfire for all of his belongings (which is a huge step for me), and some friends to work through the details…you will wake up one day with a mended heart. 

I’m not saying it is that way for everyone, but if you are sitting around wondering why it still hurts like it all went in flames yesterday, be encouraged. You could be like me and just wake up feeling ecstatically happy and free of your heartache for what seems to be no apparent reason.

I feel so free. This pain I had been running from for the last year is gone, and no matter what I do to trigger it, it’s not coming back! I feel whole again.

I hope this offered someone encouragement. The hurt doesn’t last forever, even when it feels like it will.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and waking up with a mended heart xx 

Cause You Gotta Have Friends

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When I get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life, it doesn’t take long before I begin to feel like I am completely alone. I have such big dreams that I am constantly working to achieve, sometimes I forget to stop and think, and when I do, it’s scary. Amongst people that are just as hustle-y and bustle-y as I am, I feel okay, happy even. It’s when I stand still and let my mind and true emotions take over that life begins to feel messy. Those messy moments make me feel the most alone, as the idea of sharing my mess with people that don’t understand can be intimidating and unworthy of the struggle.

In the last few weeks I dealt with the sad reality that I no longer had those people or even that person (not even one) that I could be completely honest with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not that girl who doesn’t trust anyone and takes ages to open up… I am very open and honest about most things as I tend to avoid doing anything I’d ever be ashamed of… but there is a difference between being honest and being understood. I can be open all day, every day, but it takes a special, friend worthy person to be understanding and be non-judgy-wudgy of my honesty.

In order to be non-judgy-wudgy, you have to be able to empathize in some respect, and I was beginning to think such a person didn’t exist anymore.

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Well, I think I was wrong. Though I met this lovely lady a few months ago, it wasn’t until last weekend that I realized she could be one of those people who understands.I understood her and could empathize with her struggles so genuinely, I knew there must be enough similarity to have hope in that friendship. It seems super crazy to feel as much relief as I do…but I have been made to feel crazy or completely misunderstood for so long, that it is a breath of fresh air to just share conversation over everything and nothing with no holds barred.

Two decorated lattes/hot chocolates, three-ish hours, and some deep yet lighthearted conversation later… I no longer felt as if the world was closing in on me. I immediately felt the comfort in knowing that all of the things that swirl around my mind are not only relatable but also acceptable. A lot of times I feel bad for thinking and feeling the way I do;  having someone that can empathize from their own experiences, is priceless. As a matter of fact, I felt relieved, rejuvenated, and like I may have just made a really awesome friend. A friend I can be myself with. No persona, no need to have all my poop in a group, and no perfection… just me and my latte.

There you have it, short and sweet. Tell me; when is the last time you had a relileving conversation? Who is your go-to person? Let me know 🙂

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life, and pretty lattes xx 

 

 

Wake Me Up

Anyone else album stalk Ed Sheeran and slightly fall in love with him? I definitely did…

I think I’m in love with how in love he is with the girl he wrote this for. It’s profound, yet silly and personal to only her; does it get any better than that? He was so in love with the little things, like her eyelash on his cheek, and the way she flicks her hair off her shoulder, he makes it easy to remember feeling that way for somebody. They laughed, they were ridiculous together, and yet, their love was deep.

I think it’s amazing how he portrays all of that in such a simple, carefree song. My hopeless romantic self can’t stop listening to it because it’s given me something to look forward to. This song pulls up some intense memories, but so easily makes me see beyond the fear of happily-never-afters.I look forward to being the girl he wrote this song for who can say she hopes for fairy tales again.

I’ll give you guys a break from my mushy self, it’s pretty awkward, no?

Anyway, go get obsessed with Ed Sheeran. Let me know if you love this song as much as I do, or if I’m just insane for feeling all warm and gushy on the inside.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life… and heart pendants xx

 

When the Word “Different” Became Scary

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I comforted myself with the idea that loads of people fall in and out of love all the time. Because of that, I assumed that love we had, the love I felt for him, would surely happen again. However, as I start to delve deeper into social psychology, and the minds of more mature, post-first-love adults, I realize something that has scared the crap out of me.

A lot of these “happy” couples are just people who settled much more than the hopeless romantic in me would like to acknowledge. I’ve talked to countless people, single, married, somewhere in between, and if they’re not with the one person that left a mark on their life, they can always name the one that did. Regardless of whether they split a week ago or twenty years ago, they were memorable to them, and never far from their mind. Even though these women used a million different words to describe that one person, it usually boiled down to that super cliché word that makes me cringe a little, soul-mate* (PLEASE refer to disclaimer).

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. – Honore de Balzac

People and research say that it is possible to fall in love many times, but also that each time is quite different (even on a neurological level). It was this realization that shifted my fear… I am no longer afraid of never falling in love, I am no longer afraid of being alone; I am now terrified of being with someone, being in love, and still missing the one whose “different” I loved the most. I am scared of being that woman who remembers that one boy she would’ve given the world to, that she’ll never tell her husband about (I was depressed all day after that one).

Don’t get me wrong, in the many people I have talked to during my year-long search for post-breakup success stories, there were many who married or were currently with that one person… but for those that weren’t, the bittersweet stories of “what if” and “this one time” just seemed to be endless. The idea that it could be me some day is now all I can think about.

The very essence of romance is uncertainty ― Oscar Wilde

Luckily, I am young and the chance that he wasn’t that “one” is pretty high. It’s very possible that I end up one of those lucky women who will never have to deal with the decades of missing him. Yet, in the illogical, hopeless romantic part of my brain, I also know how possible it is for me to be the woman I met with a husband of twenty years, three children, and a photo of her high school sweet heart still tucked away in her wallet (annnd now I’m crying). My deepest fear is that those BS stories of true love, soul mates, and happily-ever-afters, are indeed real and I may have lost mine.

My soul can reach   ― Elizabeth Barrett Browning

What do you guys think? Do you have that one person? Are you one of the lucky ones? Do you believe in that one person? Do you have an pearls of wisdom for me? Let me know!

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and “different” xx

P.S If you had any type of mushy emotion towards The Notebook, Titanic, or even Twilight …do not become a psych major… you will need counseling and gallons of ice cream. You have been warned.

*Disclaimer: I do not use the word soul mates in the sense that most would consider it. Believing that you can’t be happy with anyone but “the one” and that fairies and pixie dust will keep you together forever, that’s insane. When I use the word soul mate here, I am speaking in the context in which the people I spoke to used it, which is that one person they always remember. They were speaking of a person they worked through a relationship with that left a long-term love in their mind, they referred to the love “they loved the most,” or their biggest “what if.”

 

Vulnerability, Tears, and Resolutions, OH MY!

I have become a total dork for TED Talks, especially in my chosen major, psychology. This particular one? This one brought tears to my eyes and clarity to my mind.

In this video, Brown discusses her research on vulnerability and how it provokes feelings such as doubt, shame, and sadness. She carries on to say, that though vulnerability provokes negative feelings, it is also responsible for positive feelings such as, happiness, love, courage, and gratitude. 

Brown then discusses the downside to this revelation; people tend to avoid vulnerability like the plague. Brown explains that when a person decides to not feel the negative aspects of vulnerability , they also numb the positive, more beautiful aspects of it. When this happens, a person can lose their purpose, which makes them feel more vulnerable, and a sick the cycle begins. Vulnerable, numb, vulnerable, more numb….

Brown even suggest that we place this fear of vulnerability on our own children, to which she stresses that parents should consider removing phrases like “she’s so perfect” from their vocabulary, and instead saying things like “you are imperfect and wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

All of this information hit me like a ton of bricks. Last week, as I prepared to bring in the new year, I was beyond sad and depressed, and I couldn’t figure out why. I am right where I want to be in life, yet, I found and still find myself in a constant state of unhappiness. I haven’t been truly happy since Shlomo and I were madly in love, and because I’ve pretty much wrapped my mind around the end of us, I couldn’t understand why it was still taunting me. This TED Talk slapped me in the face with my answer;

I wasn’t allowing myself to feel out of fear that I would once again experience the pain of missing and loving him. 

Brown makes mention of the way modern Americans drown out their sorrow, in an attempt to not feel anything more than what has become socially acceptable. My method for avoiding the pain? Staying busy, ALL.OF. THE. TIME.

could see very early on that the people around me (minus my mother) had very little patience for my grief. From hateful people that came across my blog, to the people I called friends, family, and even the boy I loved at the time… words like “crazy ex-girlfriend,” “clingy,” and “you’re so desperate” ran through my mind as it left their lips. I knew for the sake of preserving relationships, it was time to get over it… So I did. I went to the gym for 2-3 hours a day, I studied and volunteered myself for any and everything school related, I worked as many hours as possible, and I kept friends around for the sole purpose of staying distracted. 

Naturally, I accomplished quite a bit… a slimmer body, a 4.0 GPA, a resume FILLED with extra curricular activities, and maybe a few new shiny things my hard work bought me..But I could feel that something was missing. On December 31st, I looked back, and all I could remember feeling that year was unbearable sadness and heartache or nothing at all, there was no in-between. I began a cycle that Brown implied was a numb cycle. I didn’t want to feel him, but at 20 years old, I still needed a purpose in life, and there my cycle of avoiding vulnerability began; leaving me successful, and miserable. The sad thing is, I couldn’t figure it out, until Shlomo sparked up a conversation and pulled me out of that numb cycle.

Our conversation and this Ted Talk made me realize why I correlated him with my happiness…

Brown’s solutions for breaking the numb cycle included:

  1. Letting yourself be seen, truly and deeply
  2. Loving with all of your heart with no guarantees
  3. Practicing gratitude and joy in times of terror when your mind is thinking “Can I love you this much or believe in this so passionately?” 
  4. Believing you are enough

That list made me realize that Shlomo pulled me out of my numb cycle because even though we’ve been apart for a year, he is still the only person in this world that I have been 100% vulnerable with. I let him see every part of me, even the ugly bits of my mind that made other people cringe. Being with him allowed me to love someone wholeheartedly without any concern about the end or heartbreak. I have never been more happy to trust someone with my heart and soul then I was with Shlomo. He gave me the assurance Brown suggested parents give their children…We both knew I wasn’t perfect, but he gave me love and belonging anyway; because of that, I was enough for myself and the world.

I cannot explain how relieved I am. I am not doomed to be miserable, I am not still madly in love with him, and I no longer feel the need to apologize for what I feel. All of the things I was terrified of being reality, have just come into focus as terrible side effects of numbing my own vulnerability. 

So you know what my biggest new years resolution is? To not be afraid of who I am and what I feel. I loved that boy dearly, and when he got a new girl, it crushed me, it still kind of hurts to think he could replace me as I struggle to do the same, but that’s okay. Missing him even though he’s completely moved on, does not make me weak or a “crazy ex-girlfriend,” it makes me human. Being scared of applying to Ivy League schools and eventually leaving home does not make me neurotic or high maintenance, it makes me real. Showing emotions that aren’t always pretty doesn’t make me a nuisance, it makes me stronger…

It is time to do for myself what Shlomo once did for me. It is time to love everything about myself. I. AM. ENOUGH. It’s time for me to allow myself to feel everything and be who I am without shame, because in the words of Brown…

” To feel this vulnerable means I am alive.” 

Thanks for reading guys. I hope you enjoyed this random epiphany as much as I did. I’m going to go wipe the tears (of happiness) out of my eyes, but while I do that, feel free to let me know… Does this apply to you? Are you too guarded? Do you have that person you can be vulnerable with? 

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and TED Talks xx

50 Things I Learned in 2014

Life changes so quickly, I guess it takes the beginning every year to cause a reflection on how. Last year I was freshly broken up with, completely unsure of my potential and future, and uncomfortable with who I was in every sense of the word. This year, I am so proud of myself. I have grown spiritually, emotionally, and shrunk physically in ways I never knew possible. I feel so secure in myself and of my future. Without too much detail into how I have succeeded and failed in the past year, the inevitable is that I learned from it all.

50 things I learned in 2014:

  1. Happiness is a legitimate goal
  2. Time heals, but not in your time frame
  3. I am capable of anything
  4. I am quite intelligent
  5. I am now in my defining decade, possibilities are endless
  6. Love is not enough
  7. Going back to an ex usually ends badly, especially if it’s “private”
  8. If they cant handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best
  9. Hoes before bros is a pretty good saying to live by
  10. People can be really cruel

  1. Being “perfect” wont make him love you
  2. It’s lonely at the top
  3. He’ll probably always be one of my best friends
  4. It’s time to make sure everything I do, is done with purpose
  5. True love really does mean wanting the best for someone, even if its not you
  6. I am beautiful, not because of how I look, but who I am
  7. Offers from fancy universities are better than chocolate, and that’s saying a lot
  8. Proving them wrong feels as good as I thought it would
  9. Just because I don’t talk to them everyday, doesn’t mean we aren’t friends
  10. The best opportunities come from loose ties, not your inner circle (generally)

  1. I am worth loving
  2. Intelligent yet light hearted conversations are not overrated
  3. The worst thing you can do is settle
  4. There is more to life than fancy schools and working
  5. The more special something is, the harder it is to let it go
  6. Failure doesn’t mean the end of the world
  7. Feeling everything is a blessing
  8. Keeping yourself busy wont distract from the pain forever
  9. Friends come and go, it’s not your fault
  10. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they love you back

Summertime

  1. He never actually expected me to be this successful
  2. If you cant be with the one you love, being with the one you’re with? Bad.
  3. Fate and destiny can be overrated, but hard work is a classic
  4. I am so blessed to have the family I do. Good or bad, we are so close.
  5. Make sure you like yourself
  6. Journaling is always the answer
  7. You can’t fix everything and everyone
  8. Love doesn’t actually mean what the Rom-Coms would have you believe
  9. If it was true, a little part of you will always love that person, and that’s okay
  10. That guy you’ve had a crush on for years? He loves you

Winter

  1. People love in many different ways, just because it’s not the same as yours, doesn’t mean it isn’t there
  2. Never give up on something you’re truly passionate about
  3. If someone cares for you WAY more than you care for them, let them go, they’ll thank you some day (hopefully)
  4. You will be old one day, don’t leave room for regrets
  5. Life is too short to be underappreciated
  6. Having standards doesn’t make you a b***h
  7. The deepest love is hardest to express, only those in it understand
  8. Acting like a three year old sometimes? Completely underrated
  9. The idea of falling in love again can be exciting
  10.  Risks are what make life exciting, dont let them scare you
  11. BONUS: Life is beautiful, don’t ever forget that

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It hasn’t been easy, and it definitely hasn’t been painless… actually, I mainly remember the pain and heartache of it all, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Though it was the most painful year, it was also the most rewarding, and I’m pretty excited to start 2015 with less of the pain and more of the rewards that come with such a year of growth.

Thanks for reading!  What did you learn from 2014? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life…and new beginnings xx