We Teach Girls


“We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity becomes this hard, small cage, and we put boys inside the cage. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves. By far, the worst thing we do to males by making them feel they have to be “hard;” we leave them with very fragile egos. The more ‘hard man’ a man feels he needs to be, the weaker his ego is. Then we do a much greater disservice to girls.

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.’ Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices, always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support; but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors. Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Girls grow up to be women who cannot see they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves, they grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think, and they grow up to be women who have turned pretend into an art form.

Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.”

– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie


My favorite quote: “A man who will be intimated by me, is a man I would have no interest in.”

If you have not listened to what this woman has to say, do.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and being high octane xx 


6 thoughts on “We Teach Girls

  1. Luz I grew up in the beginning of feminism, trust me I didn’t aspire to be married or be a mother. I wanted my degrees first. I always said I wouldn’t get married before I was 25 + I was 26. Don’t let anyone pressure you into their expectations. Marriage should be a partnership and no expectations on gender roles, except in carrying a baby lol. My only pregnancy I was 37.

    • I have no intentions of ever becoming “smaller” for the sake of a man, or anyone else for that matter. This just really spoke to me after someone I cared for dearly said we could never be together because I wanted too much from life (aka I did better than him). I’m not above that hurting, but I wont stay below him to make him love me.

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