Tonight’s Intention: Trust

Today’s intention:

Trust.

I thought I had gotten over the experience of being disappointed; but it dawned on me about a week ago that I treat myself and others, as if it’s only a matter of time before I allow them to hurt me. I expect everyone I love to disappoint me, and I expect that I will only choose to love people that will inevitably hurt me. I’ve done it before, I will do it again, and that’s all I have been able to see. One of the biggest losses I’ve experienced in the last year wasn’t a relationship, but instead, the trust I had in myself to make decisions that would encourage love and happiness.

Tonight, during my sweaty yoga session… I will trust my body to move as it should, and when I walk away, I will focus on trusting my heart and my mind to love and feel as it should.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life…and hot yoga xx

Advertisements

Make Me Better But Never Perfect

Tonight’s Yoga Intention:


You are beautiful.

I have been on the Whole30 for two months (approaching the end of my second round), I work out five times a week, I practice hot yoga at least twice a week, and practice for 20/30 minutes after exercising on non-studio days… I feel healthy inside and out, and yet, sometimes I’m insecure. Sometimes I don’t want healthy, I want perfect, and I am beginning to see that the two will never meet.

Most days I can see my 5’11″ self, with my tiny waist, long legs, and wildly curly hair; and I appreciate the beauty in that, and how fortunate I am to be made the way I am. But as photo-shoots approach and scales/measurement don’t move, all I can see is the extra fat on my long legs, the extra tummy on my tiny waist, and the fact that I am not, and have never been exactly where I want to be as far as my body is concerned.

Unfortunately, today is one of those “you’re not pretty enough, postpone the photo-shoot” kind of days.
So tonight, when I’m exhaling my stress, I will focus on what makes me beautiful. I will focus on my heart, my mind, and my body, in attempts to understand that they work together to make me better, not perfect.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life… and getting ready for the camera xx

Confused and Perfectly in Place

Have you ever gone through a period in your life where nothing is as it “should” be, yet you feel perfectly at peace? Yeah, I’m there.

Everything is confused and perfectly in place at the same time. My ideas of love, family, my future, my health, and even my religious views are changing (BIG aspects of my life dude), and normally in times of change, I lose my freakin’ skittles.  I really love constants and routine, but right now, I am at peace with not knowing where my life will be a year from now. I am okay with the idea of “failing,” or possibly falling short of my best option. I am not afraid of regret, and that is a phenomenon I have never experienced.

I spent nearly three years of my life planning; doing what was “right,” stressing out when I was “wrong,” and trying desperately to always be pulled together. I’m not sure if it’s the yoga or my careless 20’s speaking, but ain’t nobody got time for that.  Life is too short to stifle myself out of fear that I could be wrong.

Yes, everything is a hot mess, and I could come to regret so many things; but I am happy, and that’s really all that matters…right?

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life… and quotations marks around words that have too many meanings xx

Today’s Intention: Brains, Booty, and Beauty

Today’s yoga intention:

Don’t run. You will be successful in everything you work for. 

Today I am kind of feeling the stress that comes with school, relationships, and work. Everything is at a crossroads at the moment, and that is always a very scary place to be in. I am the kind of person who likes to know everything, and right now, I am at a place where I know nothing… But that’s okay. 

Today, I will pop on my yoga pants, check out my bum in the mirror, and remind myself that I have yet to truly fail. I work extremely hard, and so far, I have seen the reward of that. I have yet to drop my GPA, I would like to think the people in my life are happy (as far as I can control), and I haven’t lacked for anything, ever. 

Today, I feel a bit scared to look a month in advance; but I need to remind myself that I am brains, booty, and beauty, and there is nothing I can’t do. 

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and yoga pants xx 

P.S. My yoga intentions can sound a bit confident and sometimes a little arrogant; but I think true arrogance comes from people who don’t talk themselves up enough in their inner-monologue. I spend loads of time beating myself up, and it’s not working…So maybe telling myself I am thebomb.com will…who knows?

What A Year Can Change: Going Anoymous

Well, I have officially had this blog for a year, and that’s something I am quite proud of.

As you all know, it has been a very bumpy year. In a short summary; I have accomplished things I never dreamed possible, and still feel a loss I thought would’ve disappeared ages ago. I won’t go into that because I have created a new outlet for that:IMG_3776

Lucy Loves Life will continue as an outlet for the more shallow aspects of my life, while I have created a new blog that will remain anonymous for the sake of sharing my deepest thoughts and ideas.
So why go anonymous?

In the last year, I’ve realized that loads of people have flocked to this blog, and not just random strangers. It’s how my friends, family, and frenemies keep up with my life in a way that I really don’t have much control over. In being honest with my face attached to it, I put myself in a position to give pieces of myself away with nothing in return. People can read what they want of me, and abandon the rest. It feels as if this blog has given people the ability to know about parts of me that I will never see of them, even though we call each other friends.

With my chosen major and volunteer avenues, along with being a daughter, sister, friend, and often times, a confidant… I need my outlets to be about me, for me. My blog has become the only “person” that listens to my deepest thoughts, and I can’t have my face attached to that.

So what will this blog become?

To put it bluntly, Lucy from the exterior. A version of Lucy I am okay with my ex, ex-bestfriends, and grandma seeing. I feel like Lucy Loves Life should be about just that, loving life. I will still write some soapbox articles, but I’d really like to focus on myself from the outside. I want to share my life in a light-hearted fashion, as opposed to the deep thoughts I don’t even share with those closest to me. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Anyway,

I want to thank you all for following me up until this point, you have all made this year and this blog more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. I want to thank all of the supporters, but also the shady commenters who feel the need to tell me how “pathetic” I am, because you both made me stronger. I have enjoyed sharing my deep thoughts, but I am also looking forward to zooming out a bit.

This has been amazing.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… no really, I do xx 

Yoga Intentions

Before every yoga practice, the instructor will have the class stop for a moment to meditate on your intention. I normally focus on saying things like, “I am strong,” “I am beautiful,” or some other self motivating mantra to drill into my head as I detach from my worries, and focus on myself.

Usually, I am pretty good at coming up with these on my own, but this week, my instructor gave me my intention without even knowing it. She said,

 “What you can do today, you may not be able to do in a year, what you did last year, you may not be able to do today, and in a year, you may be able to do things that you can’t do today. Yoga teaches you humility, to enjoy the present moment, and just go with the flow.” 

At this time of year, it is hardest for me to accept what I see as failures. It is the time when I evaluate my “what-ifs” and reminisce on something that is no longer, and will never be again.

But today, as I throw on my yoga pants and get ready to head into the studio, I will be reminding myself….

Who and what I am today is something I thought to be impossible a year or two ago, who and what I was with and experiencing a year or two ago will never be the same again, and in the next year or two, these anniversaries may not even cross my mind, as who and what I am, along with who I love and what I want, will be astronomically different than it is today.

I have to humble myself and stop believing it is me that has any control. I need to humble myself and just let go. I am strong, and I am beautiful, but what I sometimes forget is that I worthy of all good things. I need to realize that when one good thing comes to an end, the next good thing follows, and before that even ends, the next best thing is already on it’s way. That’s the way it’s always been, and I need to trust the flow and myself.

Today’s intention: In the present, I am worthy of love and success. Because of that, I cannot miss what was, more than I anticipate what is to come. 

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and yoga intentions xx 

For “Call Me Caitlyn” Critics  

  

It is actually kind of depressing to watch people fight to the Facebook death, over whether not Caitlyn Jenner is a hero or an abomination for deciding that womanhood makes her happier. As opinionated as I am on the matter, I’m not looking for public humiliation; therefore I’d like to focus on a few things to consider before you become one of the keyboard warriors I am avoiding: 

  1. Technically, everyone is uneducated.

One of the first things I’ve seen people resort to is calling the person they are arguing with “ignorant” or “uneducated.” The truth is, when it comes to gender identity confusion, everyone is ignorant.

It doesn’t matter if you are a psychiatrist, psychologist, or some sort of mental health expert; because even with their countless decades of research, not even they know exactly what causes a person to feel brutally uncomfortable with their gender.

With that in mind, let’s think twice before we go verbally attacking someone’s opinion as you both critique the way a person has chosen to live his or her life.

  1. You can’t prove that it will truly affect your individual life

People have either embraced or detested the idea that Caitlyn is the “new normal”, and both sides will argue for reasons I cannot understand. Even if she gave people the confidence to believe they are normal, this does not mean that there will be some sort of transgender epidemic.

I hate to pull out the “I’m a psych major” card, but let me just say that Caitlyn Jenner coming out as a woman is not going to make you, your kids, your teacher, your yoga instructor, your pastor, you cat, or your hamster a transgender individual. Science has proven time and time again that if you or someone in your surrounding “normal,” questions their gender, you can be assured it’s not Caitlyn’s magazine cover that caused their confusion. Psychological processes are not contagious. Fact.

The reality is, that if Caitlyn does deeply distort the quality of your life, in my non-professional opinion, you may need to seek some sort of help, as it can’t be “normal” for this to be your biggest life crisis.

  1. Transgender is legitimate, whether Caitlyn is or not

So let’s just say that Bruce, now Caitlyn Jenner, has gotten some rockin’ cheek implants and a crackin’ rack for the sake of publicity. Does that really change that this is a real issue for a lot of people, up to including Caitlyn? According to scientists and researchers alike, this whole transgender thing, isn’t typically a cry for attention; actually, mental health specialists have screenings to make sure that it’s not.

So on that note, whether you agree with Caitlyn’s decision or not, why don’t we all take a second to acknowledge that someone out there, that many people have deemed “worthy” of believing they are gender confused, is reading what you have to say. “A real transgender” (whatever that’s supposed to mean) is seeing both the praise and hatred, both generally uneducated, and building or destroying their self-esteem based on that petulant Facebook argument. Female, male, or both… they are human, they have feelings, so let’s act like it, yeah?

  1. Being transgender is not synonymous with mental illness

Being transgender does not make you (insert mental illness), and (insert mental illness) doesn’t make you transgender. However, there is also no proof that people are born with gender confusion. So taking it back to point 1, no one knows what causes it, but I can assure you it’s not the text box definition of a mental illness. 

Okay, now that we got that out of the way, can we all stop misusing mental illness, because it only diminishes the severity of a very real problem.  I will treat someone with severe depression because they feel they belong in a different gender and their family hates them for it, I will treat someone who deals with anxiety because one of their loved ones came out and they don’t know how to deal with it, and I will treat someone that is suicidal because they hate the gender that they are…

But you can bet your bottom, I will never treat someone with “transgender qualities,” because quite frankly, their biggest enemy is the mental demons they battle when processing the very hatred I am discouraging here.

  1. Bruce becoming Caitlyn should make women angry with society, not transgenders.

Oh. My. Days. Don’t even get me started on the ridiculous amount of sexism that has clouded the Internet since she came out!

Why didn’t Caitlyn Jenner become a “real” woman until she got breasts and a makeup artist? Bruce came out months ago, but as soon as he got breasts, he actually became a woman and now the media feels the need to put her in the same stereotypical box they’ve put the rest of us in. I think that’s the real problem.

Bruce Jenner, a legendary Olympic athlete, with a dazzling athletic and business career. Caitlyn Jenner? A pair of boobs, a new woman in Hollywood to critique from head to toe, and no more talks of a dazzling career. No, now she’s a woman on the exterior, so we accept body shaming, name-calling and boiling her down to some twisted sex object… and that’s the people who “support” her. BRILLIANT.

  1. Tolerance goes both ways

Though you may be getting a feel for where I stand on this issue, I would like to remind both parties of a little thing called tolerance. “A fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinion, beliefs, practices, or ethnicity, etc., differ from one’s own.”

Live and let live, and stop being so hateful when someone doesn’t agree with how you live. You think transgender is wrong? Awesome, but don’t get hateful when someone feels it is to be embraced. You think transgender should be accepted? Also awesome, but don’t get hateful when someone believes you are ruining society. Both are opinions, both should be respected.

  1. One man’s “filth” is another man’s hero

  

  
I see a lot of people outraged by the attention Caitlyn Jenner has gotten, and to an extent, I get it. However, bashing his bravery to compare it to an “American hero” is also crazy.

For nearly a decade people touted Lance Armstrong as the all American hero. A few years later, we all found out he was a conniving, drug addict, who took the moral low ground to all of his heroic conquest. A hero became filth in one Oprah Interview.

With that in mind, remember that what you may see as trash, may have given someone hope. No, she doesn’t have cancer, and no she wasn’t a veteran, and yes, those people can be seen as heroes; but maybe to the kid who is contemplating suicide because he can’t escape his gender confusion, she is a hero.

Maybe the first, semi-accepted sex change will give someone hope for life outside of that misery. No one is the perfect hero, so why bash someone who may be offering hope to those who struggle, as society tries to sort through something we know so little about?
There is never a reason to tear down another human being, not Caitlyn Jenner, and not the people that have an opinion. He became a she, and quite frankly, being hateful keyboard warriors is not going to change that. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but do yourself and everyone involved a huge favor; truly educate yourself and see the gray areas. 

Not only will this help you in the long run, it will also keep you from being caught up in a stream of hateful conversations that serve no benefit to you or your cause. 

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and those I disagree with xx 

Sun-Kissed Face and Wild Hair

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
Steve Maraboli

I usually hide behind the comforts of makeup, I know what to wear to accentuate what I like and hide what I don’t, and I usually go through desperate measures to tame my wild (and I mean WILD) curls; but not yesterday.

Yesterday, I felt really beautiful. I was wearing a bathing suit for part of the day and yoga clothes for the other, with my hair fresh out of the pool in all of its wildness, and nothing but a bit of sun-kissed color on my face.  It was all very simple and extremely low maintenance, and yet, it’s the prettiest I’ve felt in a while.

Realistically, I spend a lot of time dressed up, with make up on fleek (whatever that means), and everything from my hair to my shoes need to be perfect; but yesterday, I felt unapologetically myself, with no need to hide, and it’s been a while since I felt so beautiful.

Yesterday, I was carefree, happy, and completely unafraid of being exactly who I am. There is no better feeling in the world than believing I am enough, flaws and all, and feeling as if I am beautiful without “help.”

Why was it so freeing? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a beach bum disguised in a pencil skirt, and I should consider moving to an island somewhere…

Or maybe it’s time to realizing that hiding behind things that make me feel beautiful, actually do the opposite, and I should take it as a lesson to accept who I am and stop apologizing for what I’m not…

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and the word “fleek” xx