Medical School, Exs, and 61 Thoughts

I feel weird, and because I feel weird, I have been unable to blog. I have written nearly five entries in the last two weeks, but they’re either too honest for this blog, or too scatterbrained, so they just get saved as I move on. I haven’t even been writing in my journal, because my thoughts are just that random. The only problem is, I hate not writing, and it’s driving me mad…so I’m resorting to bullet points. Yup, bullet points of all my random thoughts;

Morning:

  1. I want to be a psychiatrist
  2. I miss school because I hate working 9-5
  3. I miss yoga and having free time
  4. At least this busy-ness is practice for medical school
  5. Sh*t, medical school
  6. I’m going to be in school until I’m in my 30’s
  7. What school do I want to go to for medicine? Wait, I haven’t even gone into my last two years of undergrad, calm down.
  8. How will I have a life? I’m going to be a REALLY old mom.
  9. Could I have a husband and children while doing my residency?
  10. No.
  11. Maybe.
  12. It’s a good thing Mr. Old and I broke up.
  13. He could never be married to a medical student.
  14. Have I eaten today?
  15. No, I’m not in the mood for fish.
  16. But yeah, the Lucy that loved Mr. Old would not be VP of scholarship, running for international VP, heading to Columbia, or even thinking about practicing psychiatry.
  17. Or modeling
  18. I ate way too much when we we’re together
  19. Why don’t we have a Byron in America?
  20. Dude, I should work out.

Afternoon:

  1. Lol, jk, I’m at work.
  2. I have to go to that open call before school starts
  3. You are pretty enough
  4. Go eat some broccoli
  5. I really love the Whole30
  6. Mainly because it makes me feel good
  7. I love how easy life is with Mr. New
  8. He would rub my feet after a long day of school.
  9. He inspires my greatness.
  10. You should marry a guy like that, right?
  11. What if medical school ruins my love life.
  12. Oh well, I’ll hug my patients.
  13. Let’s see how they did it on Grey’s Anatomy
  14. Wait, I have a meeting to go to
  15. I’m going to be late…to.my.own.meeting.
  16. But first, I need that pink toothbrush.
  17. It’ll take five minutes.
  18. I’m the worst leader ever.
  19. Just kidding, that plan is brilliant.
  20. And so are my teeth.
  21. They’re all excited to manage my campaign, score.
  22. Let’s go see Mr. New, I need food.
  23. I need to play Beyonce all the way to his place, because that meeting has me feeling like a “Diva.”
  24. Imma, a diva.

Evening

  1. He made dinner.
  2. He could totally love me through medical school.
  3. Oh wait, there is no kale. He’s trying to make me fat.
  4. Could we spend our lives together? I mean, he forgot the kale…but not the potatoes?!
  5. Doesn’t he know models and potatoes don’t mix?
  6. I told him to add the potatoes in the recipe, my bad.
  7. He just opened a can of “let’s talk about the future.”
  8. Geezus. .
  9. I can’t commit to you. I’ve made plans to follow and be followed with someone before.
  10. They stopped following and if we weren’t worth the struggle, no relationship is… don’t you get it?
  11. Relationships should be easy. We are easy now.
  12. What if we’re not easy when I’m pulling all nighters or in a different city?
  13. Am I thinking out of fear?
  14. Stop it, Lucy.
  15. You two work, his plans match your plans; sure, he forgets the kale, but hey, what’s a lack of nutrients amongst love?
  16. Oh, this foot rub doe.
  17. Life may get hectic, but that’s the beauty of it.

So, there you have it, 61 random thoughts I had yesterday. Thank you for reading through my scatterbrained mess, as I couldn’t manage to turn that all into an inspirational tale of ex-boyfriend thoughts and hypothetical medical school meltdowns.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and foot rubs xx 

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