Hemorrhoid-ish Memories?


You ever have something or someone come into your life to confirm a lesson you’ve spent loads of time trying to learn? Yeah, that happened via this HONY post today.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to embrace the idea that memories, both good and bad, should be embraced, because they’ve “made me who I am today” and all that jazz.

It’s a totally noble concept and I really do try to see the value in that… but when you’d rather remember a hysterectomy without anesthesia/ hemorrhoids on a wooden roller-coaster, than your life with a certain someone(s)… that idea is lost pretty quickly.

Luckily, this post made me realize that even on days when I can’t appreciate what those memories contributed to my life or “made me,” I should continue to be grateful for their existence. Regardless of whether they were the best days of my life, or hemorrhoid-ish; I have them, I can remember them, and I continue to make new ones everyday. That’s not something to take for granted…

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and Humans of New York xx 

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Sweater Dress and Crocs Kinda Day

Co-Worker: “How’s your day going?”

I’m wearing leggings and a sweater dress in the middle of July, my shoes are only a step above Crocs, the only thing holding my dirty hair together is sunglasses, turned headband, and my makeup consists of some left over drool. Oh, and there are three Keurig cups worth of coffee in this nifty reusable Starbucks cup, because I care about the environment more than my kidneys.  How are you?

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life..and being able to laugh at these days xx 

Tidbits of Truth

Random words of wisdom found while strolling through an art museum:

IMG_2943 (1)But sometimes, we should just let them be….

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Because carbs fix everything!

IMG_2939I thought this was just a Florida girl problem;but yes, because no one wants to be the one girl in boxer shorts and a t-shirt, while your smart friends look cute.

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Dear stranger, I really needed to read this…thank you.

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Love is not hard; it’s the fact that it’s not always enough that makes it tricky.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life…and quotes from random strangers xx 

I Am Learning

I am learning the ropes all over again, I am learning to trust someone, and I am learning what it means to love, after I swore I never would again. I have stopped living my life as if he is watching. It may have been abandoned, but it is still my life, my heart, and my happiness, regardless of what anyone else has to say of it. I am exploring something new, and sometimes, that scares the shit out of me.

I am taking someone that I held at arm’s length, and letting them see me, all of me, in a way I never thought I’d be able to again. I am learning to trust, because I can’t cling to security at the cost of love. I am learning to believe “I love you,” truly and deeply. I am letting my guard down, and giving someone the power to hurt me, to leave me, and maybe even break me in a way that will take another year to recover from. I can’t be isolated in the fear of pain, it’s too lonely.

This may not last, this may actually hurt quite badly, and I don’t doubt that at some point, tough decisions are going to be made; but I have to live. I have to risk my security and comfort, because I was made to feel and love wholeheartedly.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life….and “someone” xx

Tonight’s Intention: Trust

Today’s intention:

Trust.

I thought I had gotten over the experience of being disappointed; but it dawned on me about a week ago that I treat myself and others, as if it’s only a matter of time before I allow them to hurt me. I expect everyone I love to disappoint me, and I expect that I will only choose to love people that will inevitably hurt me. I’ve done it before, I will do it again, and that’s all I have been able to see. One of the biggest losses I’ve experienced in the last year wasn’t a relationship, but instead, the trust I had in myself to make decisions that would encourage love and happiness.

Tonight, during my sweaty yoga session… I will trust my body to move as it should, and when I walk away, I will focus on trusting my heart and my mind to love and feel as it should.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life…and hot yoga xx

Make Me Better But Never Perfect

Tonight’s Yoga Intention:


You are beautiful.

I have been on the Whole30 for two months (approaching the end of my second round), I work out five times a week, I practice hot yoga at least twice a week, and practice for 20/30 minutes after exercising on non-studio days… I feel healthy inside and out, and yet, sometimes I’m insecure. Sometimes I don’t want healthy, I want perfect, and I am beginning to see that the two will never meet.

Most days I can see my 5’11″ self, with my tiny waist, long legs, and wildly curly hair; and I appreciate the beauty in that, and how fortunate I am to be made the way I am. But as photo-shoots approach and scales/measurement don’t move, all I can see is the extra fat on my long legs, the extra tummy on my tiny waist, and the fact that I am not, and have never been exactly where I want to be as far as my body is concerned.

Unfortunately, today is one of those “you’re not pretty enough, postpone the photo-shoot” kind of days.
So tonight, when I’m exhaling my stress, I will focus on what makes me beautiful. I will focus on my heart, my mind, and my body, in attempts to understand that they work together to make me better, not perfect.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life… and getting ready for the camera xx

Confused and Perfectly in Place

Have you ever gone through a period in your life where nothing is as it “should” be, yet you feel perfectly at peace? Yeah, I’m there.

Everything is confused and perfectly in place at the same time. My ideas of love, family, my future, my health, and even my religious views are changing (BIG aspects of my life dude), and normally in times of change, I lose my freakin’ skittles.  I really love constants and routine, but right now, I am at peace with not knowing where my life will be a year from now. I am okay with the idea of “failing,” or possibly falling short of my best option. I am not afraid of regret, and that is a phenomenon I have never experienced.

I spent nearly three years of my life planning; doing what was “right,” stressing out when I was “wrong,” and trying desperately to always be pulled together. I’m not sure if it’s the yoga or my careless 20’s speaking, but ain’t nobody got time for that.  Life is too short to stifle myself out of fear that I could be wrong.

Yes, everything is a hot mess, and I could come to regret so many things; but I am happy, and that’s really all that matters…right?

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life… and quotations marks around words that have too many meanings xx

What A Year Can Change: Going Anoymous

Well, I have officially had this blog for a year, and that’s something I am quite proud of.

As you all know, it has been a very bumpy year. In a short summary; I have accomplished things I never dreamed possible, and still feel a loss I thought would’ve disappeared ages ago. I won’t go into that because I have created a new outlet for that:IMG_3776

Lucy Loves Life will continue as an outlet for the more shallow aspects of my life, while I have created a new blog that will remain anonymous for the sake of sharing my deepest thoughts and ideas.
So why go anonymous?

In the last year, I’ve realized that loads of people have flocked to this blog, and not just random strangers. It’s how my friends, family, and frenemies keep up with my life in a way that I really don’t have much control over. In being honest with my face attached to it, I put myself in a position to give pieces of myself away with nothing in return. People can read what they want of me, and abandon the rest. It feels as if this blog has given people the ability to know about parts of me that I will never see of them, even though we call each other friends.

With my chosen major and volunteer avenues, along with being a daughter, sister, friend, and often times, a confidant… I need my outlets to be about me, for me. My blog has become the only “person” that listens to my deepest thoughts, and I can’t have my face attached to that.

So what will this blog become?

To put it bluntly, Lucy from the exterior. A version of Lucy I am okay with my ex, ex-bestfriends, and grandma seeing. I feel like Lucy Loves Life should be about just that, loving life. I will still write some soapbox articles, but I’d really like to focus on myself from the outside. I want to share my life in a light-hearted fashion, as opposed to the deep thoughts I don’t even share with those closest to me. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Anyway,

I want to thank you all for following me up until this point, you have all made this year and this blog more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. I want to thank all of the supporters, but also the shady commenters who feel the need to tell me how “pathetic” I am, because you both made me stronger. I have enjoyed sharing my deep thoughts, but I am also looking forward to zooming out a bit.

This has been amazing.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… no really, I do xx 

For “Call Me Caitlyn” Critics  

  

It is actually kind of depressing to watch people fight to the Facebook death, over whether not Caitlyn Jenner is a hero or an abomination for deciding that womanhood makes her happier. As opinionated as I am on the matter, I’m not looking for public humiliation; therefore I’d like to focus on a few things to consider before you become one of the keyboard warriors I am avoiding: 

  1. Technically, everyone is uneducated.

One of the first things I’ve seen people resort to is calling the person they are arguing with “ignorant” or “uneducated.” The truth is, when it comes to gender identity confusion, everyone is ignorant.

It doesn’t matter if you are a psychiatrist, psychologist, or some sort of mental health expert; because even with their countless decades of research, not even they know exactly what causes a person to feel brutally uncomfortable with their gender.

With that in mind, let’s think twice before we go verbally attacking someone’s opinion as you both critique the way a person has chosen to live his or her life.

  1. You can’t prove that it will truly affect your individual life

People have either embraced or detested the idea that Caitlyn is the “new normal”, and both sides will argue for reasons I cannot understand. Even if she gave people the confidence to believe they are normal, this does not mean that there will be some sort of transgender epidemic.

I hate to pull out the “I’m a psych major” card, but let me just say that Caitlyn Jenner coming out as a woman is not going to make you, your kids, your teacher, your yoga instructor, your pastor, you cat, or your hamster a transgender individual. Science has proven time and time again that if you or someone in your surrounding “normal,” questions their gender, you can be assured it’s not Caitlyn’s magazine cover that caused their confusion. Psychological processes are not contagious. Fact.

The reality is, that if Caitlyn does deeply distort the quality of your life, in my non-professional opinion, you may need to seek some sort of help, as it can’t be “normal” for this to be your biggest life crisis.

  1. Transgender is legitimate, whether Caitlyn is or not

So let’s just say that Bruce, now Caitlyn Jenner, has gotten some rockin’ cheek implants and a crackin’ rack for the sake of publicity. Does that really change that this is a real issue for a lot of people, up to including Caitlyn? According to scientists and researchers alike, this whole transgender thing, isn’t typically a cry for attention; actually, mental health specialists have screenings to make sure that it’s not.

So on that note, whether you agree with Caitlyn’s decision or not, why don’t we all take a second to acknowledge that someone out there, that many people have deemed “worthy” of believing they are gender confused, is reading what you have to say. “A real transgender” (whatever that’s supposed to mean) is seeing both the praise and hatred, both generally uneducated, and building or destroying their self-esteem based on that petulant Facebook argument. Female, male, or both… they are human, they have feelings, so let’s act like it, yeah?

  1. Being transgender is not synonymous with mental illness

Being transgender does not make you (insert mental illness), and (insert mental illness) doesn’t make you transgender. However, there is also no proof that people are born with gender confusion. So taking it back to point 1, no one knows what causes it, but I can assure you it’s not the text box definition of a mental illness. 

Okay, now that we got that out of the way, can we all stop misusing mental illness, because it only diminishes the severity of a very real problem.  I will treat someone with severe depression because they feel they belong in a different gender and their family hates them for it, I will treat someone who deals with anxiety because one of their loved ones came out and they don’t know how to deal with it, and I will treat someone that is suicidal because they hate the gender that they are…

But you can bet your bottom, I will never treat someone with “transgender qualities,” because quite frankly, their biggest enemy is the mental demons they battle when processing the very hatred I am discouraging here.

  1. Bruce becoming Caitlyn should make women angry with society, not transgenders.

Oh. My. Days. Don’t even get me started on the ridiculous amount of sexism that has clouded the Internet since she came out!

Why didn’t Caitlyn Jenner become a “real” woman until she got breasts and a makeup artist? Bruce came out months ago, but as soon as he got breasts, he actually became a woman and now the media feels the need to put her in the same stereotypical box they’ve put the rest of us in. I think that’s the real problem.

Bruce Jenner, a legendary Olympic athlete, with a dazzling athletic and business career. Caitlyn Jenner? A pair of boobs, a new woman in Hollywood to critique from head to toe, and no more talks of a dazzling career. No, now she’s a woman on the exterior, so we accept body shaming, name-calling and boiling her down to some twisted sex object… and that’s the people who “support” her. BRILLIANT.

  1. Tolerance goes both ways

Though you may be getting a feel for where I stand on this issue, I would like to remind both parties of a little thing called tolerance. “A fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinion, beliefs, practices, or ethnicity, etc., differ from one’s own.”

Live and let live, and stop being so hateful when someone doesn’t agree with how you live. You think transgender is wrong? Awesome, but don’t get hateful when someone feels it is to be embraced. You think transgender should be accepted? Also awesome, but don’t get hateful when someone believes you are ruining society. Both are opinions, both should be respected.

  1. One man’s “filth” is another man’s hero

  

  
I see a lot of people outraged by the attention Caitlyn Jenner has gotten, and to an extent, I get it. However, bashing his bravery to compare it to an “American hero” is also crazy.

For nearly a decade people touted Lance Armstrong as the all American hero. A few years later, we all found out he was a conniving, drug addict, who took the moral low ground to all of his heroic conquest. A hero became filth in one Oprah Interview.

With that in mind, remember that what you may see as trash, may have given someone hope. No, she doesn’t have cancer, and no she wasn’t a veteran, and yes, those people can be seen as heroes; but maybe to the kid who is contemplating suicide because he can’t escape his gender confusion, she is a hero.

Maybe the first, semi-accepted sex change will give someone hope for life outside of that misery. No one is the perfect hero, so why bash someone who may be offering hope to those who struggle, as society tries to sort through something we know so little about?
There is never a reason to tear down another human being, not Caitlyn Jenner, and not the people that have an opinion. He became a she, and quite frankly, being hateful keyboard warriors is not going to change that. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but do yourself and everyone involved a huge favor; truly educate yourself and see the gray areas. 

Not only will this help you in the long run, it will also keep you from being caught up in a stream of hateful conversations that serve no benefit to you or your cause. 

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and those I disagree with xx