New Blog: The Big Model

Hey guys! Long time now speak, for the best reason ever!

I’ve kind of stepped back to give myself the time and creative renewal to put together a blog that I have been dreaming of since beginning this blog.

My new blog is all about fashion, health, and body positivity; I couldn’t be more proud of it.

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thebigmodel.com is now live and I hope you guys will pay a visit and enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed putting it together!

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Happy Dork with a Love of Clothes

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School, love life, work, it’s all going well… but something really amazing has happened in the last couple of weeks. For those of you that don’t know, I initially got into modeling because college is expensive, and there has to be some benefit to being a 5’10” amazon. Anyway, somewhere between my honors coordinator telling me she saw me as a fashion badass and not a doctor, and watching The Intern (A must-see), a fire sparked…I’ve had a dream come back to life, that I hadn’t even realized had died.
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I love modeling, I love clothes, I have a dream of turning that into a business, a big one. As a plus-sized model in such a time as this, there is so much potential for me to make a difference in the lives of girls and women alike,  and at the end of the day, that’s what I love. This isn’t just a job to pay for college anymore, it’s a dream, it’s what I love, it’s a goal that 95 year old Lucy would always regret neglecting. To not just be pretty, but to be an empire… It’s huge, and it’s scary, but even if I only get half way there, it’s where my happiness is and I can’t ever abandon that.

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and it is loving me right back xx 

P.S.

I’m still pursuing med school, because I am also that dorky kid that adores school…but for right now, I can balance epigenetic research and photoshoots, making for a very happy dork with a love of clothes.

No Choice But to Find Myself

I miss my life. I miss the life where I spent more time laughing than crying or stressing. I miss the life when beautiful people thought I was beautiful too. I miss waking up in different places. I miss feeling intimidated by someone. I miss getting all dressed up with somewhere to go. I miss being around people that excite and challenge me. I miss my extraordinary. I miss being impressive to people who impress me. I miss compliments that mean something. I miss waking up with a purpose; to thrive, not just survive.

By all accounts I am the best I can be, I am “successful” at everything I have taken on… but does any of that matter when I can’t remember the last time I was happy?

I am really unhappy and realizing that something needs to change, but I have no idea how to go back to the life I miss.

Maybe I’m not meant to go back. Maybe I need to use that desire for what I had to fuel my reason for waking up. Maybe the solution is to go, do, and see whatever it is that makes me happy.

Maybe this is the part of my life where I get so lost, I have no choice but to find myself. 

Much love, 

Lucy Loves Life… and “maybe” xx 

Refelctions of a Twenty Year Old (Was I A Good Teenager?)

On November 13th, I turned 20 years old! I know..it’s still hard for me to say! I got all nostalgic as I took in the last couple of hours of my teen years. I began reflecting on the years between 14 to the end of 19. I read through every journal, revisited those years of my life, and the result of this huge act of nostalgia can be found below.

This was all written in my journal beginning on the night of the 12th, and ending last night. I hope you enjoy my stroll down memory lane 🙂

Happy Birthday to Me 11/12/14

I have an hour and a half left to be a teenager…wow. I’m feeling very nostalgic at the moment. My teenage years definitely had some ups and downs. I traveled, fell in love, fell out of love, made friends, lost friends, drank some, smoked some, and loved A LOT…I lived.

At 14, I got my first taste of life as a teenager. I made “grown up” friends (you know, that watched Hannah Montana instead of Sesame street). I learned that not all of them were nice. I went to middle school and found at that most of them were mean, actually.

It gave me strength though…enough strength to recover from meningitis without a flaw. I made big decisions, one of them being to teach myself for high school (seeing as I wasn’t able to go back at that point).

Fifteen

At 15, I learned life was the most beautiful, terrifying place I could ever find myself in. I lived as if I was dying, both a blessing and a curse at the time. I dabbled in being pretty to someone besides my parents.

A hunky football player thought I was the most amazing thing he had ever witnessed before. It was in that situation that I learned I always wanted to be first to the man I loved. In reality, I didn’t really love him, we never even dated, but he taught me I never wanted to be second, or third. I learned men could be cruel.

I learned success wasn’t going to be easy. I thought I knew everything. I had the most awful blonde highlights and janky teeth, but I was not yet tarnished by society’s ideas of beauty. I was insecure, yet innocent to those standards. It was weird. 15 was weird, but kind of lovely.

Sixteen

At 16 I learned my worth. I left the country, lost myself, and found her somewhere in the middle of the ocean (I traveled on a ship). I met my best friend, my muse, and my love when I was 16.

My best friend was a breath of fresh air, she taught me so much, we were peas in a pod, and I loved her more than any friend I had ever had.

My muse changed my life without even knowing it. He inspired me to be better, without even trying. He was a handsome whirlwind with an English accent (always a plus) that made me want to be better. I had a massive crush on the way he looked at me when I sang. He made me feel beautiful.

My love was an unexpected individual. He was young, really tiny when I met him, and kind of a douche…but he eventually became my everything.

Even though I was brace face… I felt beautiful, life was beautiful, and nothing could ever go wrong. I got a taste of the life I would stop at nothing to call my own, on my own.

Seventeen

 At 17 I lost and gained it all. I fell right on my face…I lost all of the things I could never get back. My best friend, my shiny life, and pieces of my heart. Out of all of the hurt, losing my best friend was the strongest hit. I loved her. I loved being around her. We were the well dressed duo that was a force to be reckoned with. Yet, we were destroyed by a series of unfortunate events and boy drama.

It was heartbreaking, but in that hotmess, I found something beautiful. I fell madly in love with “my love.” He healed a part of me I didn’t think anyone would be able to. I trusted him. He adored me, and I could never get enough of him. We hadn’t even shook hands at this point, and yet, our chemistry, and our love for each other was tangible from 5,000 miles away.

It was somewhere in here that I learned that if my best friend was supposed to stay my best friend, she would, and she didn’t. She hurt me, and I’m sure I hurt her, but people have gotten over worse, and the fact that we didn’t was a sign that maybe she was just a temporary beautiful, I would learn from one day.

I got a puppy that stole my heart (I mean, look at that face).

I had the summer of my life…the kind they write movies about. It was a summer full of love, passion, laughs, and a new brand of happiness that comes with being madly in love without any idea of consequence or un-happy endings. We were “forever,” and we both believed that with all of our hearts.

Eighteen

At 18, I brought in the year with my love, and boy were we in love. It was the kind of love I can still feel today. I got my first job and finally felt like a grown up! I came to grips with slowing down and enjoying my youth, because I realized that it wouldn’t last forever. Something about becoming an adult legally made me realize that life is not slowing down, and it was time to enjoy it instead of begging to be older.

My family and I moved across the country towards the end of my senior year (goodbye college plans). I left friends, family, and every plan I made for my future up until that point. But before I had time to care, I approached the second summer with my dear Shlomo.

I left for London and spent two and half perfect months with my love. I got to spend time with my English friends, make a few more, and spend time with yet another special English boy who taught me that “a little party never killed nobody.”

We lived in a fairytale of beautiful locations, no worries, and endless amounts of love. It wasn’t reality, but it was incredible. I left London knowing without a doubt that I would marry that boy, we were perfect.

Little did I know, it was about to become very clear that he didn’t even see another month with me. His teens years kicked in, and I was kicked out…

Nineteen

On my 19th birthday I learned heartbreak. Actually, I spent the year learning that it was possible for one person to break my heart over and over again. I learned of the bittersweet taste of a tear filled last kiss. I held on to promises of “one day, when you’re not so far away,” for months.

19 hurt…19 was really heartbreaking. I had to make logical decisions even when it hurt like a mother to do so. I didn’t feel beautiful, or sexy, and no matter what I did, I felt useless. I felt all of the beauty I saw in life leave me. Life stood still…even when the man of my dreams confessed his feelings for me, I was too dead on the inside to acknowledge the validity of his words.

I did incredibly well in my first year of college, better than I could have ever imagined. At 19 I found my way back to the life I loved on my own ability. I found something that would help me achieve my dream life, but this time, it would be my doing, and mine to keep.

Four days before my birthday, the idea of ever getting my love back… was gone, and him and his “drive” were to blame for that. He could never be mine again, and that realization broke the chain that kept me tied to my misery.

Twenty

On my 20th birthday, I let him go. I didn’t spend this birthday with tears in my eyes (a nice change). I laid eyes on the guy that had always been there, my inspiration. I denied him for the love of my misery, and there he was… There was my beautiful.

I began this year with calls/letters/text/and messages full of love from those I cared about most and those I thought had forgotten about me. They hadn’t forgotten about me, I was just too unhappy to see that they were there, even though I wasn’t.

I’ve spent the last three days with family, friends, and him. I feel beautiful, independent, loved, intelligent, and so strong…stronger than I have ever been.

At 20, I am ready to leave him behind. I am so ready to tackle my dreams of ivy league universities and a life abroad. I am ready to embrace my muse and be inspired by what ever  keeps me focused. I am ready to feel beautiful and priceless to someone, even if only to myself.

And there you have it…my teen years in a nutshell. Did I do them right?

Thank you for sticking with me throughout this lengthy post, and the majority of my heartbreaking 19th year.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life, and is ready for her 20’s!

Crazy Week, Happy Girl

Well guys, school has started, and life is officially back to the hectic, stressful, and super exciting state otherwise known as the beginning of the semester. If school weren’t enough I had a random date that went a bit wonky, a massive realization, a few butterflies in my tummy, and spark of motivation I so desperately needed. With all of this excitement and stress, I haven’t had very much time to write my usual Lucy-esque post. However I have decided, that today I will just do a little break down of what has been going on this week in a very scatter brained but effective manner.

 

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First on the list of crazy, is school!

The semester has officially begun, and I can’t be more excited! This semester is a big one, as a matter of fact, by the end of it, I will be done with my applications to the UK universities of my choice (scary right?!). In that time I have to retake my SATs including three subject test, CLEP out of biology, and manage my current work load, along with my newly found honors work load. To say I am busy…well, that is an understatement. I can’t help but be excited though. It is the time I have been waiting for since I first decided studying abroad was what I wanted to do!

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Getting my mojo back!

I’m feeling good. I’ve started to put effort into who I am again. I care about myself  for me, not other people, and I think that’s a wonderful way to live. I’ve got a long, beautiful life to live, and there is no point in ruining it because it doesn’t look exactly as I planned it would. I’ve been dressing  up, getting pretty, watching what I eat, and just really caring about Lucy, for Lucy. It’s great.

Thinking leads to smiles…. This weeks realizations:

  • Dating is scary
  • Dating makes me slightly uncomfortable
  • I believe in soul mates
  • I am capable of anything
  • School is my happy place
  • I am sort of an enigma (not in a bad way)
  • Life is too short to take anything to seriously
  • I’m finally smart on paper
  • Colin didn’t hate me

This randomness needs to come to an end

Well…this post was random, scattered brained, and slightly nonsensical post, but to be honest, those three words also explain this week!

However, when life slows down this weekend I will sharing a pretty cool vlog all about  my pretty head scarves, a blog about what I do to maintain my success in school, and maybe even a little splash of traveling adventures! What do you want to see first? Let me know!

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life so much she can barely type a sentence xx

 

Move In the Right Direction

So, if you have been following my blog for the last couple of days and you like many of my followers are thinking, ‘Man, Lucy must be having a rough week…” I’m here to tell you that you’re right. I don’t remember the last time I felt as low as I do right now. My self esteem is in the toilet, and that seems to be tainting everything else.

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I have lost myself. I have lost the dressed-to-the-nines, stiletto wearing, wild haired woman that I once was. I was known for the “swag” in my walk, my need to be slightly over dressed, and my class with a splash of sass. Men with sculpted figures and stunning English accents fawned over me and thought I was the best thing since sliced bread, and some how I have lost that. Somehow I don’t feel beautiful anymore, not even to myself.

Anyway, this is not a sad post, but one of change and positive adjustments. My life is at a bit of a stand still, but I plan on taking whatever steps I can to find myself again. I may hate my current circumstances, but I can’t let my hate become who I am. With that being said, join me in my small effort towards a positive change, starting with the three things I am going to change right now.

1. I am going to appreciate what I have in the present

In reality, life is actually pretty upside down at the moment. However, I’ve decided that it is time to see the things in my life that are going extremely well. “Things” being my huge, massive, unbelievably scary dream of going to university overseas. In the last couple of weeks it has become a thousand times less scary, as counselors and peers have walked into my life, and given me the confidence to tackle this overwhelming process, head first. It is all coming together so beautifully, and for that, I am grateful.

2. I am going to find my give-a-damn

It sounds dramatic, but changing the way I dress, changed me…for the worse. I traded in my pencil skirts and well fitted (but never tight) dresses for floor length maxi skirts, baggy blouses, and apparently my sense of give-a-damn. I lost my fight to eat well, exercise, and all other forms of caring for myself. There used to be a time when I carried myself like a boss (for lack of a better word), and I need to get that back. Extreme modesty (especially considering I’ve always been pretty modest) has sucked the life out of me and it time to find a balance. I need to care about what I look like, I need to care about what other people see when they look at me, and I need my sparkle back.

So guy, I am on a mission to get my give-a- damn back. I need my confidence, I need my self esteem, and I need to get rid of the gray cloud hanging over my life, otherwise known as insecurity.

3. I’m going to stop mourning my old life, and work on incorporating it into my current life.

The truth of the matter is, I can’t have my old life back. I was well dressed and confident because I was traveling, I was surrounded by people very similar to myself, and constantly being pulled together and presentable was the rule not the exception. Now…I am a student in a sleepy town and my social circles no longer consist of those types of people (but they are just as wonderful).

Sooo life will never be as it was (and sometimes that’s a good thing)… but I can get my spark back, I can dress the way I did, gain the confidence I had back, and get my swagger back. I can have that and still enjoy the good things I have now, that I didn’t have then.

Hopefully this un-poop-ifys my life, because, dude…I’m over this.  I know life is going to brighten up, it always does…but sometimes a girl needs a little game plan to get back to happy land, and hopefully this is mine. Thank you guys for sticking through this little rough patch of a week I’ve had. I will be back to spewing rainbows and flavored water recipes in no time.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life (well, I’m working on it) xx

My Drugstore Favourites (Plus Bloopers!)

Maybelline’s Instant Age Rewind Foundation, Concealer, and Dark Spot Treatment.

Left: Dark Spot Remover. Right: Concealer
Left: Dark Spot Treatment. Right: Concealer

As you can see, the concealer is about one shade lighter than my skin, and the dark spot treatment is two shades lighter (and slightly pinkish), which makes it a wonderful highlighter for contouring.

You can get the full trio at any drug store, Target, or Walmart for about $40…an amazing price considering that is about how much you would pay for one luxury foundation.

Elf’s Golden Bronzer:

In order from top to bottom: Top left, top right, botton left, bottom right (the one that makes you look dirty)
In order from top to bottom: Top left, top right, bottom left, bottom right (the one that makes you look dirty)

Like I said, I’m not the biggest fan of this, but until I find better, it’s not terrible. I bought this bronzer from Target for about $3.

Wet n Wild’s Blush:

This is in the shade Pearlescent Pink
This is in the shade Pearlescent Pink

I love, love, LOVE this blush. I got this particular one at Walgreens for $2.49 on sale, but they’re usually about $3 (oooh big spenda!). I can’t say enough good things about this blush. If anything, I would make it a little less pigmented…it’s that serious people.

Wet n Wild’s Eye Shadow Trio:

In the shade walking on eggshells
In the shade walking on eggshells

I mean…can you see that pigmentation?! Let’s go ahead and give them a round of applause. This trio is $2.49 as well, get your hands on it! I’m getting way too excited about this, so I think it’s a good time to move on…

Maybelline’s Expert Wear Eye Shadow:

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Not my favorite palette in the world, but definitely pretty stunning for a natural, yet slightly shimmery, summer time look. I paid about $5 for this at Target.

Physician’s Formula Eye Brightener:

Natural Eyelight
Natural Eyelight

Not too much to say about this, other than I do love this highlighter and have used it pretty diligently for a couple of years now. This particular shade is a bit tricky to find in stores, but you can always find it here for about $8.

I will pretty much use any drugstore mascara.

Covergirl, Maybelline, NYX, Max Factor…they all do an amazing job with mascara and they all range from about $6-$11

Maybelline’s Color Sensational, The Buffs Lip Color and Covergirl’s Just Bitten Lip Stain:

Top: Lipstick- Bottom: Lip Stain
Top: Lipstick- Bottom: Lip Stain

I LOVE this lipstick in Stormy Sahara. It is just stunning, I mean..I am speechless. You can pick this beauty up for about $7.50 from any drugstore, Walmart, Target, or Ulta (they are having a buy one get one 50% off, check it out!).

Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone carries this stain anymore (not in the US anyway), and I’m not going to lie, I’m a little heartbroken…. especially since I snapped the balm off of my favourite one while filming this video. If you live in a place that still carries them, do your self a favor and stock up (and send me some)! You will not regret it!

And here is the finished product!
And here is the finished product!

I hope you enjoyed this, and even got a little chuckle out of my bloopers. If you have any ideas for future blog/vlog post, please do not hesitate to contact me!

Thanks for watching and/or reading.

Much love,

Lucy Loves Life (and makeup) xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very Inspiring Blogger Award for Me? Okay!

What is, and how does one receive  the Very Inspiring Blogger Award? Well, I was given the award by Hilary and I am supposed tell you seven things about myself, then pass this on to another blogger that inspires me!

Soooo here we go…

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1. I am madly in love with travel, and am working my butt off to get into a university in England. I hope that with studying there I not only get to experience England, but also other parts of Europe (during my free time of course).

2. I am a classically trained singer… but it’s not what I want as a career, therefore, I only really sing in my room to remind myself I have a talent, and that is enough of that.

Writing

3. I write ALL the time. Seriously, I have apps on my phone for random thoughts through out the day, my blog for my thought out ideas, and paper back notebooks (which I write in every night).

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4. My favorite post from myself has to be “Is Hollywood Ruining Women?” because modesty and the way women carry themselves really is really important to me (for many reasons).

5. I understand everything I hear or read in Spanish, but I am literally incapable of speaking it. Seriously, it makes no sense…but I plan on taking a class this semester to sharpen up on my skills and start speaking it.

 

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6. I would rather be overdressed than under-dressed. I have a deep love for fashion and always dressing well. I actually feel really odd and out of place if I’m not slightly overdressed (within reason of course). I feel the most confident when I’m wearing a great pencil skirt, a silk blouse, and a well fitted jacket (if the weather calls for it here in Dallas), and if all else fails, a simple dress with a killer pair of shoes doesn’t hurt either.

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7. I am a proud owner of the cutest chihuahua, ever. No seriously, he is five pounds of adorable. I will proudly admit to the my crazy dog lady status, just thought y’all should know.

So there you have it, seven things about me. Huge thanks to Hilary for giving me this award! To keep this going, go have a look at Say Hello to Gorgeous! Her blog is awesome, and it feeds my beauty product obsessed soul.

Confessions of a Naturally Un-Skinny Girl

A few body loving tips from the huge amazonian herself (me).

Tip #1: Don’t make yourself miserable.

Life is too short to try to live on a SUPER strict diet/workout regime. You may never be little (you may never be curvier), but who really cares? As long as you are healthy as far as diet and exercise goes…why bother with killing yourself to be a size and shape you weren’t designed to be?

For example: I made a rule that I was never allowed to be on a super strict diet or workout for more than an hour a day when I traveled. Why? Because I refused to miss the sights, sounds, tastes, and pleasures of whatever country I was in for the sake of avoiding a few pounds/losing more weight.

You have been given one life…don’t waste it for the sake of torturing yourself for not having your “dream body.”

Tip #2: Embrace your body to find your happy place.

Stop fighting it! Stop fighting your curves!

Embrace the body you have been given, and use it to find your happiness. Find the body that you can maintain. Find the body that makes you eat well, exercise, and live a healthy lifestyle, while letting you enjoy life.

Example: Here are a few photos of my various weight fluctuations and what was required to achieve them.

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Size 6/8 Lucy: Bobble-head-ish, constantly hungry, and semi-addicted to the gym. In all seriousness, I was on a 1200 calorie diet, I worked out two hours a day, and I was so annoyed 90% of time, I was insufferable.

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Worth it to avoid looking like this? I think not.

Size 10 Lucy: Well proportioned, balanced diet, works out 4 times a week (on average). I eat well 80% of the time, and the other 20% I’m indulging with a bit of wine and maybe even some ice cream, I work out 3-6 times a week (depending on my schedule and such), and I live a lifestyle, not a diet.

I still work abnormally hard to be a size ten, but I can be happy with it. So find your happy.

Tip #3: Find your body role model.

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As you can tell, mine was Marilyn Monroe. Naturally, your role model may be different. Just find someone that looks similar enough to you to boost your confidence, give you ideas about how to work out, eat, dress, carry yourself, and offer you the inspiration you may need to maintain your happy place.

Tip #4: Learn to dress in a way that flatters you.

Forget the fad fashion that really only looks good on the models that wear them, and find a look that really flatters you. I like to put an emphasis on my small waist and big hips, while toning down my tummy and small boob area. I do this with a great fitted pencil skirt, a nice flowy blouse, and sometimes a dress fitted in all the right spots. I can’t wear pants because they are highly unflattering…but that’s okay, because I’ve found my look and I love it!

Tip #5: Love your body! Embrace your curves (or lack thereof)!

It’s that simple. Learn to dress yourself, stay healthy, find someone that helps boost your confidence, don’t best yourself up, and just embrace your body. This is the body you’ve been given to live the one life that you have and it is just WAY to short to spend your time and energy hating your body. Love yourself! I can’t make it much clearer than that!

And there you have it, the confessions of a naturally un-skinny girl! I hope this has helped you curvy or not so curvy girls the way this has all helped me.
Thanks for reading!
Much love,
Lucy Loves Life xx