Your first love is a beautiful, exciting, nightmare that everyone has to experience.
I recall falling in love for the first time as one of the most magical experiences I’ve ever had. I’m not talking about a three month fling in middle school. When I say first love, I mean the first real long term relationship that makes you believe in “forever.” The kind of love that shows you what it feels like to cry tears of joy, and seriously consider whether or not you could spend your life with that person. During the duration of my first “real love,” I laughed, cried, felt butterflies, and cared for/ with a person like I never had before. With those “never have before” moments come realizations and lessons, many of them. Below you will find, not all, but at least seven things falling in love for the first time can teach/give you.
“The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever, and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away.” -Nicholas Sparks
1. A pure, untainted, beautiful love.
Your first love is a type of love you may never know again. It is untouched by pain or heartbreak, and the word “forever” still means something to you. Your first love is beautiful and special, as it is the only time in your life that you will fully love with no inhibitions, or even an understanding of potential consequences. If you have heard the saying “ignorance is bliss,” you understand why that very first love is so magical. You may never be so stupid and vulnerable ever again, but it really is a wonderful, breathtaking, kind of love.
“When you love someone…truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you, that only they can hurt.” -Sherrilyn Kenyon
2. What it really means to trust someone.
Because of the untainted love, free of any perception of consequence, you are also enabled to trust this person with all of your heart. You trust them not to break your heart, mean what they say, not judge you for farting, listen to your deepest secrets, etc… Much like the love aspect of it all, you believe in this person 100 percent and it will take a lot for them to make that first crack.
“The magic of the first love is the ignorance that it can never end.” -Uknown
3. To believe in dreams and fairytales.
As a girl who currently considers myself a bit battered by love (a willing victim because it is wonderful) at the moment, I can say that one of the things I miss the most about falling in love for the first time, is the understanding that fairytales could happen.
After my first love proved to be a bumpy ride, I lost faith in that. I realize now that falling in love one time, getting married, spending our entire lives together (because we said we would), and living happily ever after doesn’t really happen the way all those corny movies would lead us to believe they do.
It’s a bumpy ride and you can never really know for sure if it’s going to end well, but with your first love, you don’t see that. As far as the first love version of you is concerned, this will play out like the movies, and you have the right to be over-the-moon happy.
4. Develop a sense of what it is that you want in a partner.
As your first long term relationship progresses, you begin to realize what it is that you love and strongly dislike about your partner. You begin to start thinking about the long haul and deciding if the person you are with is the one you want to take on said haul. This analysis and decision making process makes you think long and hard about what you actually want in your long haul person. Sometimes that can tear a relationship up, but if you tick yes to all the boxes, it can make your relationship even stronger.
5. Reassure your positive self esteem.
There is something about knowing that someone has fallen madly in love with you that makes a person feel like a rock-star. Being told you’re beautiful/handsome, smart, talented, and all the jazz from someone that loves you and only you, is electrifying. Being single has it’s perks, but the feeling that comes from knowing someone out there thinks you are the best thing that ever happened to them, is not on of them…and it’s amazing.
You should never put your entire self esteem in the palm of another person’s hand, but it is totally okay to love the boost that comes from, well, love.
“If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously. Punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.” -Frank Ocean
6. Teaches you a type of pain you will never know again; Heartbreak.
“If it doesn’t break your heart, it isn’t love.” -Switchfoot
This is the moment that makes or breaks you. Your very first heartbreak. Love has become tainted, trust has been shattered, your self esteem is in the toilet, and for months on end, you aren’t quite sure how life will go on. You will cry, you will hurt, and much like the love aspect, this will be a type of pain you may never experience again. I said this in my vlog last week, but I’ll say it again, heartbreak will happen, and it is a necessary evil.
Why? Well, carry on to number seven…
“Not until we are lost, do we begin to find ourselves.”- Henry David Thoreau
7. Your strength.
With great pain comes great growth (boom, Spider-Man reference). Being heart broken really does hurt like a mother… but in that pain, you grow and learn more about yourself than you ever have.
When I look at myself before and after my breakup, it’s almost hard to believe we are the same people. Examples of this can be found, here, here, and here. Actually, this entire blog was a byproduct of all of the things I learned and the growth I have experienced over the last couple of months.
Do I think about that time in my life where misery was an understatement fondly? NO. But do I look at who I have become as a result of that misery with a great deal of fondess? 100% yes! The great pain that is your first heartbreak will mold you into a stronger, and wiser version of yourself… if you don’t let it destroy.
“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” -Charlie Jones
Falling in love for the first time can be the most terrifying yet breathtaking thing you have ever done.
It will mold who you are, teach you valuable lessons, and maybe even bring you that happily ever after (you never know, stranger things have happened). Don’t be afraid to love. It may hurt, but the person who is able to get back up and love again after being knocked down, is stronger, and wiser than the old version of themselves could ever be.
Keep loving and reading 🙂
Lucy Loves Life xx